The Warmth in the Sunflowers
by jasmin flower
Summary: After a severe economic crash, Ivan can't handle it anymore. Alfred realizes slowly that the protection he shows to Ivan doesn't just stem from a kinship, but from more. (Rated for fairly dark opening, and romantic interests.)
1. Chapter 1

_**So, I'm doing a short fic this time. I'm only planning three chapters, as I said, an actual short story.**_

_**It'll be interesting to see how this goes!**_

_**Anywho, on with the show!**_

_**Disclaimer- I do not own Hetalia, or anything else in this fanfic.**_

Chapter 1- Just a step...

Ivan watched the world before him. He could feel his pulse pound, he could feel the sadness of the people in his country. Everything was falling apart. Darkness. It was just so dark anymore. He had gone to the meeting last week, though he'd begged his boss to let him stay home. They'd loaded him up on medication and told him to hide his sickness. He was to tell them he was fine, and that he'd be alright, even with the damage he'd been coming to. The whole bottle of medication, that was supposed to last a week was gone in two days, but it was the only way to hide his symptoms. They'd sent a few bottles in case things went like this, and it had worked, he thought.

"Russia, are you alright?"

"Da, I'm fine." When America had asked him, he could see the worry in his expression, but he couldn't tell him. He couldn't open his mouth and say the truth.

He was dying. He could feel it. Every little bit of himself was in pain. He couldn't stop coughing without the medication, and on more than one occasion he'd found blood in his mouth. For the first few days after the meeting, he was happy he'd been able to hide it.

After that, he realized no one had called to check, not even his sisters. No one questioned it, and he knew why.

No one cared.

He felt tears drip from his chin as he looked out over the country he'd been since his cold days as a child. Russia would always be beautiful, even if it wasn't Russia anymore.

And today would be the day it ended. He clasped his hands over his chest and closed his eyes.

Just a step, and the pain would be gone. Just a step. He'd left a few goodbye notes in the bag he knew Ukraine would get if he died, so no one would be confused over his passing.

He clenched his eyes and opened them, taking another glance before taking a step.

oooOOOXXXOOOooo

It was still dark, and he was still in pain. Ivan felt his eyes prickle, the pain in his whole body was worse than it was before. He felt so weak, so frail. He hated it. Slowly his eyes opened and he looked around.

No one was anywhere he could see. He was still alone. He'd started to close his eyes as he heard someone come in, but honestly was so tired he just kept his eyes closed, deciding to let them think he was still asleep.

So his death had cheated him. He was still alive, still alone. He couldn't stop a tear that escaped as someone near started talking.

"He's lucky to be alive. If he didn't heal as quickly as he does, there's no way he would have made it, but his healing is really diminished right now. He's been sick for a long time, and the people in control of him have been covering the symptoms, so instead of getting any better, he's just been getting worse. I was able to give him some medications to get rid of a few of the problems, but it looks like it was really hard on him. Make sure to take proper care of him after he's released, alright?"

Ivan expected to hear his boss' voice, or maybe if he was really lucky, Ukraine.

"Yeah, I'll take care of him, I promise." Ivan couldn't keep his eyes closed after hearing that voice, but as shocked as he was, he didn't have the strength to make his eyes shoot open. Slowly he looked up, confused and still a bit dazed.

"Comrade America?" He asked, surprised, the tone getting the attention of both people in the room. America looked down at him with a look that was more worried than pity, but both were seen. "Why are you here?"

"You were really sick at the meeting. It was easy to see, so I tried to come out and see if you were alright. Guess I was a little too late, sorry." Alfred's hand slowly and softly patted the other man's leg and Ivan couldn't keep the tears in his eyes. Alfred just pulled up a chair and sat beside him, softly running a hand up his shin as Ivan stared, wondering how such a dark look could feel so... warm.

He was in the hospital for three days, and was surprised to find America had already made some plans, making demands on his government in Ivan's absence, but after hearing about them, he was alright with it.

He'd demanded Ivan be allowed to heal in America. He'd demanded Russia's top officials speak with Nato about how to fix the economy without causing another collapse, like what had happened the day Ivan had jumped. They tried to fight against the superpower, but when America had started yelling about how if Ivan jumped again there would be a revolt and they would all be killed, and he would make sure every other country would be too afraid to help them, they finally backed down and agreed to the meetings.

It wasn't a guarantee, but it was better than nothing, in both America and Ivan's opinions.

It was a day after his release they were on American soil and Ivan sighed. It always smelled like flowers in Alabama, Alfred's home state, from what Ivan could tell. He hadn't been here way too many times, but it was warm and comforting to him as he slowly walked from the car to the house. Ivan was surprised to discover America was bringing him not to another hospital, but to his home.

He hadn't been invited into anyone's home since childhood. Alfred walked with him, keeping a hand encircled on the other's arm, in case the same weakness he'd noticed after he'd gotten off of the plane struck him again. Not that he'd fallen, but Alfred was worried when he'd noticed his legs shaking.

"I have a room set up for you next to mine. Come on, let me show you were you can stay, alright?" Alfred asked softly and Ivan nodded.

"Why are you doing this for me?" Ivan asked, feeling fear at the possibility of answers. Was he after the power of ruling over Russia? Was he going to try and convince him to change his government again? Was he going to be a prisoner of war until the government agreed to the demands he'd made?

"We haven't always gotten along, but you're still one of us. Just because we don't see eye to eye doesn't mean I want to see you dead, and that's what would happen if your bosses were able to just reclaim you after that." Alfred looked a little pissed and Ivan nodded, keeping his head low.

"I'm sorry." Ivan spoke, the soft sound worrying the other.

"I'm not mad at you, you know. You don't have to be scared." Alfred turned his head over, looking at the confused and lost look on the man beside him.

"I don't know how else to be anymore." Ivan admitted. It was the first time since he could remember he'd shown this kind of weakness, and honestly that scared Alfred more than he'd have liked to admit.

"Well, until you find out, I can't let you leave the country. I can't let you go back to what they were doing to you." Alfred looked up, wondering if he would have a fight on his hands, but instead found the slightest of nods.

"Thank you." Ivan sounded like he was about to cry and Alfred could only sigh.

Years of being in pain had worked against his mind. Alfred knew what was happening. He understood it was going to take time. All he could do was softly pat his arm before gently walking him to the bedroom he'd be in for the next part of his life, even if it was just for a short while, which honestly Alfred hated to admit, he would have preferred him to stay for a while.

It was almost a week til Alfred didn't worry about Ivan falling. It was two days after his arrival and Alfred noticed he almost never moved his eyes away from his own feet. He didn't look up to see what was around him. Though he was getting better, his body was getting stronger, Alfred noticed his mind wasn't healing as fast.

He decided therefore to take him for a short walk one day. Nothing too much, as he was still sick, but just a short walk through a nearby park. He couldn't help but chuckle when he noticed Ivan's eyes shift up, finally looking around now that he was in the sunlight. "It's so warm out here." Ivan sounded surprised and Alfred nodded.

"It's still Spring, so it's not too hot yet, but the weather today was just too good to just sit around in the house." Alfred watched as Ivan seemed to be surprised at the sights around him. He seemed amazed by everything, from the birds to the wind whispering in the trees. It was the first time in a week that Alfred had been able to see the violet in his eyes, and he let out a sigh.

He was finally doing a little better, at least.

A couple of days later, Alfred sat in his office, his work forgotten before him as the Russian stood on the other side of the desk, looking like he was about to run from the door. Alfred cocked his head to the side, wondering if he'd just heard that right.

"You want to know if we have... sunflowers?"

"Da, if it's alright." His voice was still soft and a bit weak, but Alfred was glad he was showing interest in something.

"I'll take a look. It's supposed to be a good day tomorrow, so I'll find out by then if they're anywhere near here, alright?" He asked softly and Ivan nodded, looking more like a child than a world power.

Alfred couldn't help but smile softly as the other slid carefully from the door.

He knew exactly where there was a sunflower patch nearby, but he didn't know if they were blooming right now. It was mid may, and he wasn't sure if they bloomed now, or if they would need to wait another month or so.

He shifted to his computer and opened a tab on the internet, looking up the information, his work being temporarily tossed aside.

The next morning he was surprised to see Ivan looking as pale as he did. "Are you alright?" Alfred asked, feeling his forehead, and Ivan shied away, not wanting to seem sick all over again.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You're getting sick again." Alfred frowned, knowing their visit to the flower patch would have to be put back. "Go back to your room. I'll bring breakfast up and call in the doctor." He frowned, and Ivan could see disappointment in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you mad." Ivan sighed, fear showing on his face and Alfred shook his head.

"I just want to make sure you're alright. I'm not mad." His hand reached out and Ivan glanced down at the appendage, surprised at how soft his touch was.

"You're really not mad at me?" His eyes glanced up and Alfred could so easily see the emotions that ran through his mind.

He couldn't help but smile at the childlike face before him. "I'm really not mad." He sighed softly and Ivan nodded.

As Alfred prepared to bring up the food, he could hear a soft voice from behind him. "Thank you."

It was two days later that Ivan was feeling better, and the next day was rain. The following day, after breakfast, Ivan was surprised as Alfred took him out to the car and they went for a short drive. They climbed out and Alfred started walking on a path, surprising the man with him as they slowly made their way into a small wooded area.

They came to a clearing and Ivan glanced around, surprised out of his mind. "What?"

"It's not too big, but it was the best sunflower patch we had nearby." Alfred watched as Ivan ran out and touched the flowers. He forgot how childish the other country could be as he giggled, his eyes shining as he looked around.

'This is how he should be. Playing and being free. He's too kind a soul for the work they put him through.' Alfred thought with a smile before realizing he was blushing and turned away.

What in the hell was that all about? He frowned at himself, trying to decipher his own mind when he heard the other yell. His eyes shifted up, seeing Ivan waving his hand around more excited than he'd ever seen him and he glanced up, seeing a large group of monarch butterflies. He looked around, seeing the milkweed growing in the woods and walked over, grabbing a few of the pods and broke one open, dumping the contents on the wind so they flowed out like water on the breeze. Ivan watched amazed as the butterflies picked up the scent and came down, flocking around. He broke open a pod and held a half himself, showing Ivan how to hold it so the butterflies would come to him.

By the end of the day he understood what the blush was about. He figured out why he felt the need to come in and save the other in the first place. It wasn't what he'd originally thought. The thought 'He needed someone and I just happened to be someone.' was tossed out. He realized he wouldn't have done the same for any country. A lot of them yes, but none of them for the same reasons.

When he saw the warm smile on Ivan's face as the butterflies surrounded them, he had to look away.

After all, he knew the only reason Ivan was there was because he knew he needed help.

It wasn't like Ivan liked him back.

_**Leave a review, let me know what you think!**_

_**Later!**_

_**Jaßmin**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey, guys. One thing I did forget to mention on the first chapter, this story is based (loosely) off of the song "For In Campanella" with Russia and USA. It's an MMD song on Youtube, and I'd totally look it up if I were you. Seriously, it immediately inspired this whole fic, and I immediately fell in love with it. **_

_**I-Heart-Sesshoumaru13- I giggled like mad when I saw your name in the reviews! I'm happy to see you again! Hope it's okay I don't have my OC this time, lawls! **_

_**PastaAddict- Thank you! I'm glad to hear you like it!**_

_**Anywho, on with the show!**_

_**Disclaimer- Sad and fluffy moments ahead!**_

Chapter 2- Going home

"Net, it's fine. You've completely made me better." Ivan said with a smile as he looked over at Alfred. "I hope you don't mind I've already made the plans."

"No, as long as you really think you're ready to head back." Ivan could see the worry on the other's face. He couldn't help but smile, but he knew he was being a bother to the other. He'd been living in his house, shirking his own responsibilities for nearly a month, and honestly he needed to go home.

If he didn't, he'd say it. Words he knew he would never be allowed to take back.

"I need to find a way to thank you for everything you've done." Ivan said and Alfred shook his head.

"Don't let your government do that to you again. Take care of the health of yourself, as well as your country's health. That's all I want, is to know you're happy and healthy." Alfred sighed, glancing up. He had to keep his lip bit to keep from admitting he'd miss him.

"Well, thank you for everything." Ivan held out his hand, surprised when instead Alfred hugged him.

"Take care." Alfred said softly, stepping back and patted him on the shoulder before Ivan went and climbed into the waiting taxi.

He knew his own government would be mad he was so easily captured, but at the same time, Alfred had helped him to see a few problems. He wouldn't have been so easily captured if the officials had been more worried about the country, and less about lining their own pockets. There would be a few pink slips when he went home, or he would start the next revolt himself. He never wanted to feel that darkness he'd had that day ever again. He never wanted to feel the hopelessness, that desperation that just fizzled into that hollow feeling. Never again. He was returning home, not because America had allowed it, but because he knew he was needed.

He smiled, knowing Alfred had helped him regain the confidence he'd lost so long ago.

oooOOOXXXOOOooo

The meeting was getting ready to start and Alfred looked over at the door with a frown. No one had heard from Ivan in two months, and it was starting to really worry him. Not that a lot of the others were trying to get in touch with the Russian, but he had been, and he knew none of the Baltics, or even his own sisters had heard a peep from him.

If he didn't come through the door in the next five minutes they'd have to start the meeting without him. If he didn't show up for the meeting, Alfred was going to find out what was happening. He couldn't let him fall so ill again. When he'd heard Ivan had tried to kill himself he was struck with shock. He knew Ivan could be childish, but not like that. It scared him.

Alfred felt his skin prickle at the memory, goosebumps raising across his skin. Every second that ticked by seemed to make him more and more afraid.

"Sorry I'm late!" Ivan ran through the door, a few folders in his hands showing he'd dropped them on the way in, papers trailing behind him. Alfred let out a sigh as the other ran in, tossed the folder onto the table and he turned, running back down the hallway to collect the papers that hadn't made it the first time.

"Wonder why he's so scatterbrained." Arthur spoke softly and Alfred could hear Francis sigh in resignation.

"I wonder if he's still sick. I hope it's not contagious." Francis' voice was just below scathing.

"He's probably fine. I heard his government went through a few changes, so he's probably just stupid." Arthur stated to the Frenchman and Alfred could feel his cheeks burn with anger.

"He's one of us, you know. Speaking about him in such a way..." Alfred swallowed hard, his eyes shifting around to the others in the room who all looked bored at the American.

"You're just as stupid as he is, is all." Arthur didn't even try and hide his contempt of the countries. Alfred was near jumping over the table to beat him half to death when Germany stepped forward.

"Alfred, calm down. Remember who's calling you stupid." The look on his face wasn't that of someone trying to control the meeting, but instead one turning the comment back to the one who'd said it. Alfred chuckled and looked up, giving a thanks to the other. Ludwig patted him on the shoulder as he stepped up to the podium and started going through his notes as Russia rushed back in. Alfred couldn't help but relax when he noticed a warm smile on his face.

The meeting was supposed to last for two days, so they'd be staying the night in the hotels around town. Alfred waited after the first day and as Italy and France asked him if he wanted to go out with them that night, he smiled softly, saying he was trying to make other plans. Italy turned to Russia, still putting his papers away and looked up at America with a confused look.

"You left like this after the last meeting too. He's not going to be sick again, is he?" Italy asked softly, and though Francis didn't like Russia in the least, he knew there was more to the other man's illness than just his country falling apart.

"No, he looks a lot better this time, doesn't he?" Alfred asked with a smile and Italy smiled with a nod.

"Vee, He does. Well, if he's busy, you can call me, Si?"

"Yeah. I'll see you." Alfred smiled at the Italian as they headed out.

Ivan noticed Alfred waiting and sped up a little, hearing the conversation that took place, and couldn't help but to smile. When Italy and Francis left, he finished packing his things and walked over, smiling.

"Hello, Comrade Alfred. I hope you've been well?"

"Yeah. I've been good. I was hoping to talk with you some." He said and Ivan could find a hint of worry in his eyes and sighed, nodding.

"Sure, but I don't know the area here very well." He explained as they started walking from the building. They ended out at a little cafe, sitting in the Spanish sun, enjoying the warmth of the day.

"I wanted to check up and make sure you're actually doing better." Alfred said, taking a sip of the coffee that warmed his hands almost to extreme.

"I'm fine. I've been really busy, it's hard work restructuring a government, but it's a lot more rewarding than letting it restructure me." Ivan smiled, sipping a tea. Alfred sighed, actually unsure what it would feel like to have the government try something like that. His own would just lie and keep secrets, never fight him into submission.

"You're... not just lying, are you? You're really alright?" Alfred looked up and for a split second saw fear in the other man's eyes. "Ivan?"

"Sorry, I just realized the time. Excuse me a moment." Ivan reached into his pocket and pulled out a hand full of pills in a plastic bag and started downing them one by one. He cringed as he swallowed the last one and took a sip of his tea, trying to wash the flavor from his tongue. "I need to keep my strength up, right?"

"So... that's all those are for, just keeping your strength up?" Alfred was terrified. That had to have been a dozen pills.

"Da, vitamins and minerals, an antibiotic and something to help my mood." He sighed as he took another sip of the tea. If Alfred found out...

"As long as you say that's what it is, I'll believe you, but if you ever want to talk, you know I'm here, right?" Alfred reached out and clasped his hand over Ivan's, who stared at it in shock.

He pulled his hand back, feeling a sudden warmth in his stomach. "I have to go." Ivan stood quickly, lifting his bag and Alfred jumped up.

"Ivan, what's wrong?" He grasped at the other man's hand and Ivan smacked it away.

Ivan's eyes met his and Alfred could see the terror behind his gaze. "Alfred, what's gotten into you?" His voice shook as he turned and walked away, leaving Alfred staring in shock.

He'd done it, Alfred sighed. He'd accidentally let his feelings be shown, and this was his response. Absolute and utter rejection. He chuckled sadly as he sat down, staring at the abandoned tea before him, and took a sip of his coffee, though the jovial feeling he'd had about being at the cafe was now gone.

He already missed the warm smile and the shining purple eyes that were looking at him. Alfred's head crashed to his arms as tears of disappointment absorbed into his jacket.

The next day Alfred sat quietly, trying to ignore the worried glances Francis and Feliciano were shooting his way. Ivan came in on time and sat on the other side of the room from the day before, trying to put as much space as he could between himself and Alfred, unknowingly forcing Francis to give the American another worried glance.

Ivan was gone the instant the meeting was called to a close. He'd brought his bag from the hotel with him, as he'd checked out that morning and ran immediately to the airport.

It was another month and a half til the next meeting.

Alfred got off of the plane in Russia and looked around, surprised to find it so warm. He thought it was always cold here. He found his way to the airport and looked around, finding the building, then the room for the meeting the next day so he wouldn't be lost when he came by the next morning.

He was surprised to find Ivan already in the room, chatting with a few of the government's higher ranking personnel. "You're to keep your distance from them this time. You were almost found out last time." The man growled and Ivan sighed, looking over at the man. Alfred, through the window in the door could see the tired look in his eyes.

So the government had taken him over again.

"I'll try better this time." Ivan spoke softly and Alfred stepped to the side before he was spotted. "I want to send him a balloon." Ivan smiled softly and the man standing across from him stilled, staring.

"Maybe we should cancel the meeting after all. Are you... hallucinating? Are you really this sick, or are you faking it?"

"I want to send him a balloon." Ivan glanced up and the man noticed tears in his eyes.

"Dammit, Ivan, we can't have you doing this right now! The meeting is tomorrow! Either you shape up, or we're going to have to send you back into the dark!" The man growled out and Ivan yelped out loud, the sound breaking Alfred's heart.

"Please, I still haven't healed from last time! I can't be Russia if you tear all of my skin off!" He yelled and the man stilled.

"Then remember your place. Don't get too close to America. Everyone else wants to stay away from you, as you're such a cruel monster. Just stay away from the monster that's not afraid. You know he'll kill you too if he has the chance." The man listened as Ivan whimpered, then sniffed.

Alfred stepped back, pressing his hands over his face to muffle the sound he wanted to make at the realization that Ivan was crying.

"He already tried to break me. I can't let him in again. The warmth... I can't handle it." Ivan cried and Alfred made his way back down the hallway as quickly as he could, making sure he wasn't seen.

He sat in his hotel room and scribbled onto pieces of paper. He wrote paper airplanes and sent them across the room, then out the window. He watched to see how they drifted on the breeze. They seemed to head out forever from the fifth floor, and he imagined Ivan would find them and open one and smile.

But with what he heard, Ivan wouldn't be smiling anytime soon. They were doing something that was tearing his skin off? It's no wonder he was on all of those pills before. A more realistic way of covering the wounds, physically as well as mentally.

Alfred couldn't help but wonder, if Ivan was crying like that while on the medication for his mood, how much pain would he feel if they deprived him of them? Tear marks marred the next airplane that found it's way out of the window.

Unknown to Alfred, two blocks over, Ivan was leaving the building. He sighed, feeling his heart pound in his chest. This had been happening a bit lately, and he was worried he was going to start getting worse again. He sighed as he looked up, noticing the clouds overcast the sunny day it had been when he'd walked into the building. He looked up and noticed something come in near him and reached out, grasping the paper airplane as it drifted seemingly right into his hand. Ivan looked it over and it immediately made him think of Alfred. He'd seen him throw the planes like this at meetings before and couldn't suppress a smile at the thought. He opened it, finding moisture at the bottom and a picture.

A bunch of balloons tied to a basket, a giant heart sat in the basket. Below, written in English were words that took him a moment to decipher.

"I hope you're alright."

Ivan looked up and looked around, but didn't see the American anywhere.

"I wish I were." Ivan said softly, his eyes turning to pain. "I wish I could tell you." He hugged the note to his chest, for the first time since the last meeting, feeling warmth in his heart, but this was the first time it didn't hurt.

_**Hope you enjoyed! Leave me a review and let me know what you think, alright?**_

_**See you all soon! I'll probably have the last chapter up earlier tomorrow.**_

_**Do Svidaniya!**_

_**Jaßmin**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**I know I said I'd put it up later, but I decided to put up the last chapter now. Yes, this is it already, before anyone had even seen the second chapter, so if you're just seeing this, go back one! **_

_**Anywho, on with the show!**_

_**Disclaimer- Sappy, fluffy happiness ahead!**_

Chapter 3- When it all falls apart

Ivan sat at the front of the room, not even noticing the meeting was now fifteen minutes late, everyone was in attendance, and everyone was watching him with worried expressions. Alfred couldn't bring himself to go talk to him. What if his bosses found out? What horrible things would they do to him?

"Ivan, we should start the meeting, Ja?" Ludwig called out and the man looked up, surprised and nodded, his foot slipping from beneath him. He took a steadying step and sighed before heading to the podium.

"Hello, everyone, and thank you for coming."

That night, after the meeting, Ivan disappeared before Alfred could say a word to him, and honestly, Alfred was afraid. After a few drinks with Arthur, Francis, Ludwig, Feliciano, Spain and Japan, they were finally able to get him to admit what was happening.

As much as they picked on him, the group loved Alfred to death. Feliciano had realized at the last meeting about his feelings, so when Alfred admitted he'd heard Ivan's bosses threatening him, the Italian's heart fell. When Alfred admitted to some of the things he'd said, the rest became concerned.

"Vee, he's one of us." Feliciano looked up at Francis, who shivered, but nodded.

"He's a scary one of us, but he is one of us all the same. But... what could we do?"

"I want to get him back to America again." Alfred stated softly with tears in his eyes. "I was able to help him before. Maybe..." His hand ran angrily through his hair and Japan glanced over with wide eyes.

"I wasn't aware you had assisted him before." Kiku's soft tone brushed past Ludwig's ear and he nodded, glancing over at the shorter man.

"Ja, Ivan was in America for almost a month." Ludwig stated, the words heard by all in attendance. "It didn't seem to do much though, did it?"

"This is why I need you guys. I need your help." Alfred looked up and the other countries sat up straight. Asking for help wasn't something any of them thought Alfred knew how to do.

"I will help where I can." Kiku bowed lightly, and it instilled a little courage in the others, who were soon offering to help wherever they could.

Francis realized the situation when seconds later Alfred broke down in tears, thanking the group.

It was late that night when Alfred headed back to his hotel room. He glanced over at the meeting hall and sighed, noticing balloons being sent from the roof. He stilled, his eyes watching the red balloons that floated away. Hadn't Ivan said he'd wanted to send someone balloons? Alfred smiled, seeing as they drifted one by one on the breeze. He watched for a while, but could soon hear sobs coming from the top of the building. Alfred listened to the sound, at first not sure he was hearing what he'd thought, but he stepped forward as the sound became clearer. He realized why a few moments later when Ivan stood at the end of the roof, a good four stories up, rubbing his eyes as he watched the world around him and Alfred realized what was happening.

"Ivan!" He yelled and purple eyes met blue. Ivan looked down at him, a soft smile coming to his cheeks as he stepped forward, his hand outstretched before him.

Alfred's first thought wasn't 'Does he realize I'm really here?' or even better, 'Why is he trying to jump again?' His first thought was 'RUN!' Which he did. He knew Ivan was a lot larger than he was, but he also knew the other countries had all complained at one point in time or another over his horrible strength.

He hoped that would be enough as he ran forward and threw himself last second, catching Ivan, but they were both launched into the door of the building, which splintered and groaned at the stress, but didn't give. Alfred looked down at the man in his arms, his cheeks and eyes red from crying and his eyes softly drifted up to the ones above him. "Did you get the balloons?" He asked with a grin and Alfred stared, surprised as the other passed out in his arms.

He called Japan, who was still with the others at the bar and instructed them to get to the building as soon as possible, and to figure out how to help him smuggle a person out of the country.

Japan sat in his plane, waiting as the others were brought in the car to the tarmac, where the plane was waiting without the security within the building. Sometimes using a small landing strip worked to their advantage. In Japan, they switched planes, and Ivan was given an IV and an injection. They were instructed in eight hours to repeat the injection, and Ivan was shown how. He was given a third for eight hours later, just in case, but Japan stole the supplies, deciding to go ahead with him instead of just leaving them to Alfred's carelessness. Kiku was a good doctor, after all.

By the time Ivan woke, all he could tell was he was in a white room, and he'd been stripped down into a hospital gown. Confusion settled into his mind. Wasn't he on the roof? He looked around and noticed the IV and wondered.

He closed his eyes, trying to remember what had happened when the door opened and a doctor came in, looking at the man before him. "Are you alright? You had a pretty nasty fall." He asked and Ivan sighed, realizing he was still in Russia. The doctor didn't even carry an accent.

"Da, I don't know what happened. I was on the roof. Next thing I know, I'm waking up here." He sighed and the doctor frowned.

"With your... mental history, are you sure you didn't jump?"

Ivan remembered his eyes looking into the blue ones that were so far away. He remembered reaching out to him. He tried to reach the warmth in the smile before him. "I did jump, didn't I? I don't even think I knew what I was doing." Ivan sighed, closing his eyes.

"Probably because of the drugs in your system. I was worried that was the situation. The amount of medication you were on is considered to be nearly fatal. You were probably hallucinating, right?"

"I don't know. I think I was, to see such a thing." Ivan felt tears stream down his cheeks at the memory of Alfred looking at him like that.

It was almost as if he really cared. It was almost like he wanted to see him smile. But Alfred just wanted to control him. He'd been told it so many times, why wouldn't it be true?

"Since you're detoxed a bit, I'm going to be discharging you. I had wanted to send you into an in-treatment facility, but I was sent a government letter stating you're to go into a residential program. If you have any problems with this, please let me know now." The doctor watched as another tear came down the man's face.

"No, It's fine." The doctor could see the fear in his eyes. He could see him visibly tense every muscle over his body. He was terrified.

The doctor left as Ivan laid back down, knowing he needed to get as much rest as he could. Likely, when he got back, he would be going back into the 'Dark', and he'd need his strength.

His eyes opened again as he was being pulled from an ambulance. His eyes glanced around and the warm sun made him gasp. "Where am I?" He asked, the sudden brightness blinding him as one of the guys looked down with a surprised face.

"Uh, does anyone here speak whatever language this is?" The guy asked and Ivan's eyes widened again as he looked up.

"Where am I? Am I in England?" Ivan felt his chest pound. He didn't want to get his hopes up.

"No, You're in America. Alabama, to be exact." Ivan sat up and rubbed his eyes, almost tumbling the stretcher as a warm hand grasped his shoulders.

"Ivan, lay down. You're going to fall again." He heard and looked up, seeing Alfred haloed in the sun.

"Why did you... bring me back here?" Alfred could see the worry in his eyes and sighed.

"I'll explain after you're settled in. Lay down, alright?" The warmth of the hand was gone as they brought Ivan into the house and he realized it was Alfred's house. He really was in Alfred's house. It wasn't a dream, it wasn't a hallucination. He was brought into the same room he was in before and slowly crept across the room, laying down on the bed before the guys with the stretcher left. Ivan wrapped himself in the warm blankets and just stared out of the window, still trying to process what was going on. It wasn't too long til Alfred and Kiku came in and Ivan sat up, feeling his heart pound at the looks on the faces of the two before him. Alfred looked flustered, his cheeks pink with worry and Kiku looked like he'd just gotten into a fight. "Hey, How ya feeling?" Alfred asked as he sat down on a chair beside the bed and Ivan glanced over at him, both confused and scared.

"I don't know." He said softly. He wanted to see those eyes look into his. He wanted the warmth of his touch again.

But he knew he shouldn't feel that. Alfred just wanted to control him, right? He didn't feel like that...

"Ivan, do you know what happened on the roof? Do you know how you ended up here?"

"I was hallucinating. I was sending balloons off. I looked over and saw... someone looking up and I wanted to reach out to them, but I guess I fell." He looked away and curled up, pulling the blanket over himself. How could he admit to Alfred he'd seen him smile at him? How could he admit he wanted to see the response to a confession he'd sent when he blew up the balloons? "I'm such a fool." Ivan clenched his eyes and Kiku frowned, backing from the room.

On the way over, when Ivan had muttered the other's name, Kiku finally realized what was going on and could only sigh. The look in Alfred's eyes were undeniable. The room suddenly took up a feeling, like some sacred bond that made the Japanese man feel like he was intruding.

"I was there, you know. From the ground I could hear you crying." Ivan looked over, seeing the cast on Alfred's arm for the first time and he stared, confused.

"Your arm... What happened?" Ivan reached out and softly ran a finger over the cast.

"I caught a Russian who fell off of the roof." Alfred looked up and Ivan realized what he'd meant.

"You caught me?" He sat up, staring. It didn't make any sense! If Ivan had died, America would be able to get some of the land probably, right? So why would he save him? It didn't make any sense! "But if I died, wouldn't you be able to get the control you wanted?" Ivan watched, feeling his chest tighten around each breath.

"Dammit, Ivan! I told you before you left last time, what I wanted was for you to be happy and healthy! I didn't want to see this pain in your eyes again! I want you to be able to smile and be happy with all of us! I said it before, didn't I? You're one of us! You're just like me! Why would I want you to die?!" He nearly yelled and Ivan stilled halfway through when the first tear made it's way down Alfred's cheek. "I don't want you to have to suffer again! You've already done that enough! It's time for you to be happy!" Alfred covered his face and lowered his head, trying to hide the disappointment at the situation.

"You're really worried about me?" Ivan knew he had tears streaming down his face. He hated that he didn't even have the shame to wipe them away.

Alfred looked up, tears smeared across his cheeks and Ivan could see it in his eyes. He could see the affection he'd seen on the roof. It wasn't a hallucination. He'd seen the same eyes that looked at him now and Ivan felt, more than heard the sob that broke free from his lungs as Alfred softly moved to the bed, sitting beside the other and wrapped his free arm around him, pulling his head to his shoulder.

"Go ahead and cry. Get it out of your system. Let go of all the pain and sadness, alright?"

"But I'm not sad." Ivan wrapped his arms around Alfred, stilling him with a shocked expression.

"Then why are you crying?" Ivan could hear the shaking in his voice.

"Because I really did see you there. It wasn't just a dream. You really were there to get my balloons. They reached you, like your airplane reached me." Ivan slowly looked up, wondering if he'd said the wrong thing when he'd gone silent.

"My... airplane?"

"Your heart, my balloons, right?" Ivan said softly and Alfred remembered the paper airplanes he'd sent from his hotel's window. "You sent it to me, right?"

"How did you know?" Alfred let loose a light chuckle and Ivan lowered his head back to his shoulder.

It felt freeing, saying these words, but it was still embarrassing. "I prayed. I prayed that it was really you, that you'd really sent it to me. I'd started to wonder if I'd dreamed the whole thing up. How would you be able to know exactly what to say to make me feel better? Why is it you always make me feel like that?" Ivan cried harder and Alfred's arm around him tightened. "How can you always make me feel warm like this?"

"Because... I love you." Alfred said softly and Ivan stilled, his tears stuck in his throat. He looked up, the hope and the sadness, the fear, but the joy at hearing the words all showed so easily in his eyes.

"You love me back?" Ivan questioned softly and Alfred realized not only what he'd said, but the way he'd said it.

"I love you back." Alfred smiled softly as Ivan's grip tightened again and Alfred clenched his eyes.

"I love you back too." Ivan cried, feeling the warmth of the arm around him and the shoulder his head rested on.

"If you do love me, then get better, so we can go see the sunflowers again, alright?" Alfred spoke softly and Ivan nodded. "Don't leave so early this time. Let me take care of you, and don't be afraid. Don't get sick. Don't go through the torture you've been forced to endure. Seeing you in pain, it breaks my heart." Alfred's words made Ivan cry harder. He nodded, agreeing to all of the terms.

"I won't just be a bother to you?" Ivan finally spoke after he composed himself a little, and was surprised that a soft hand caressed his cheek.

Soft lips grazed his, making Ivan's head swim. No one had ever kissed him before. He stared, surprised and suddenly worried he'd have a heart attack as all of the blood in his body seemed to rush to his cheeks. "You were never a bother to me. It made me happy to see you every day when you were here before. I didn't want to let you go." Alfred sighed, feeling a little weird at the admittance, but Ivan didn't seem to mind.

For the first time in a very long while, an honest smile lit Ivan's face and Alfred could only grin back. "Don't let me go again, alright?" Ivan asked softly and Alfred nodded.

"Whatever you wish." Alfred said, pulling Ivan in for another hug. "Whatever you wish."

_**Hope you liked! Leave a review to let me know, alright?**_

_**Do Svidaniya!**_

_**Jaßmin**_


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